Syaoran No Kangae
by syaoran no hime
Summary: Ever wonder what's in Syaoran's mind? Read this fic to find out!
1. Default Chapter

SYAORAN NO KANGAE   
by SYAORAN No HIME   
  
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It's already 3pm on my watch on a rainy Saturday. I'm trying to translate those stupid Japanese sentences into English, but i either mess up with the sentence order or my incredibly large vocabulary is demonstrating to me the law of inertia at rest.   
  
I sighed. No one ever said life in a foreign country is easy. Strange culture, weird strangers, alien-like homeworks...   
  
So the question is,why am I still here? All the clow cards were captured already and the card mistress has passed Yue's final judgement. My cousin,Meiling went home already and I'm all alone in this place full of strangers.   
  
Or is it me isolating myself from the world of the people who know each other?   
  
"What do you think?" I asked the bear I made for Sakura just days ago but I haven't given out of cowardice.   
  
I was half-expecting it will reply "You're sick!," but instead it leaned towards a framed picture I keep under my pillow every night.   
  
I sat down the bed and carefully picked up the picture. It showed a girl with short brown hair and lively emerald eyes skating down the road happily. Actually, it was a stolen shot I begged Tomoyo to take,where in I also admitted in the process that I sort-of like her best friend.   
  
Ok, ok so I really, REALLY like Sakura. So much that all my dreams and waking hours are occupied by her and only her! I suddenly recalled how I made a fool out of myself infront of her countless times already because of how I react everytime Hiragizawa makes a move on her.   
  
Jealousy? Maybe if homicidal thoughts on that blue-haired guy and the urge to kick him in the you-know-what back to London or whatever part of the globe he came from counts, then I guess I am jealous.   
  
I remembered what Tomoyo told me the other day when I was watching Eriol and Sakura talk from afar.   
  
"Maybe, just maybe, Syaoran,you're in love with Sakura." She suggested with a smile.   
  
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah right, and I heard Yukito is going on a diet."   
  
She nudged me playfully. "If it isn't love, tell me what the heck is happenning with you."   
  
I knelt down the ground, pretending to look for something I dropped, but deep inside, my mind was in a turmoil. Love? Sakura? Me?   
  
I shook my head. No use in denying what Tomoyo said last Thursday. I can't fight the truth for as they say, the truth will set one free.   
  
But what about my heart? Not even the highest truth can set it free because a sweet kind-hearted girl with emerald eyes unknowingly imprisoned my heart reclusion perpetua. No bail, no parole.. but I'm willing to serve that sentence for life.   
  
I lied down the bed. Now I'm getting corny! Geez,Sakura Kinomoto is destroying my whole system!   
  
My life used to be simple back then:just capture all the cards, marry Meiling and lead my clan. Everything was planned then.   
  
But came bright-eyed Sakura messing up my organized life..damn!   
  
Now my life is a web of confusion. It's not really Sakura's fault, I know. I was the one who stupidly fell in love with her.   
  
I cuddled my bear, wishing with all my might that the toy would turn into the girl I love the most. I reached for the phone and absent-mindedly dialed her number.   
  
After 3 rings, the phone was answered. "Hello?" boomed a deep male voice.   
  
I slapped my forehead. Of all the days for him to answer! "Hello,may I speak to Sakura, please?" I asked politely.   
  
"Who's this?" the voice demanded.   
  
"Touya, just please give the phone to Sakura, ok?" I requested, my teeth gritted.   
  
"In your dreams, China Boy. Even if Sakura is here, I won't let her talk to you."   
  
"She isn't home?" I asked feebly.   
  
"Duh." I can hear him let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm warning you, Li Syaoran. Don't mess with my little sister, my only sister,got it?"   
  
I started to protest but he interrupted me. "I can sense your feelings for Sakura, so don't waste your saliva denying it. Put this in the hollow thing upon your shoulders you call a head: Sakura is my most precious treasure in the world. If you dare hurt her, I'll-"   
  
We both heard my door bell ring. "I gotta go. Listen,I'll never hurt her, ok? Not even in my wildest dreams. And I'll remember what you told me, big brother." I put the phone down just as Touya started cursing. I smiled wickedly before walking out of my room to answer the door.   
  
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what do you think about it so far though?too sappy?   
domo arigato! 


	2. Default Chapter

SYAORAN NO KANGAE- Chapter 2   
By: SYAORAN NO HIME   
  
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I did a double take when I saw Tomoyo and Sakura on my doorstep,their raincoats dripping.   
  
"What took you so long,Syaoran?"asked Sakura,barging inside my living room.Meanwhile,Tomoyo took her raincoat off and searched for a hanger.   
  
I took her coat and hung it behind the door.   
  
"Oops!I think I got your sofa wet."Sakura smiled apologetically.   
  
If that was another person,I'm going to throw at him the first thing I can grab and throw him out of my house.   
  
But Sakura is not just another person.She's..well,Sakura.The girl of my dreams,the goddess of my life,,the mistress of my heart and the keeper of my soul.   
  
Tomoyo cleared her throat behind me."Careful!You might melt, Sakura!"she whispered.   
  
"What are you guys doing here?"I asked,pretending to be annoyed.What an idiot I was awhile ago,staring openly at Sakura!What if she finds out about my feelings?Mundo trouble!   
  
Fortunately,Sakura didn't notice my little silly moment awhile ago.She cheerfully brought out her Math notebook after handing me her raincoat.   
  
"Tomoyo and I came here to ask your help.We're a bit confused about the word problems-" Sakura kept talking but nothing that she says is making sense in my mind.How I wish she could just keep on talking so I could keep on staring at her pretty face...   
  
"Syaoran?Hello?"came Sakura's voice.   
  
I blinked several times before realizing that Sakura's curious face is just inches away from mine.I began to feel my face go warm.   
  
She waved a finger in front of my face."Are you there?"   
  
I quickly stood up,running my eyes across the room.Where is Tomoyo Daidouji?Did she see this one?   
  
"Hey!" Sakura stood up too."I said,are you ok?"   
  
"Sure I am."I said in my coolest voice before heading out of the room.   
  
"Where are you going?"She wanted to know.   
  
"I'm going to make snacks."I replied.   
  
Her eyes lighted up."Ooh,can I come?"   
  
Now what guy in his right mind would say no to those pleading emerald eyes?"Certainly."I said,leading the way to the kitchen.   
  
Sakura began to cook the noodles while I chop the vegetables.The room was silent except for the sound of the boiling water and veggies being chopped.   
  
"You are really something,Li-kun. Most boys I know tend to think that cooking is for girls only and all they know is fighting."Sakura began.   
  
I paused."I'm no different.I like fighting too." She blushed faintly."But you fight to protect others..me,for instance."her last words were barely audible.   
  
"Come again?"I said,turning to her.   
  
"N-Nothing.Anyway,it's quite embarassing to admit this but you're a much better cook than I am.Your future wife is sure lucky."said Sakura,a wistful note in her voice.   
  
I laughed."And your future husband is one poor and unlucky guy."   
  
"Yeah sure.Rub it in my face,will you Syaoran?"she commented dryly.   
  
I turned back to my work."Sakura,it doesn't matter if you are no cook or that you can't boil water to save your life.Well at least,for me.But I'm sure you will make any man proud and happy to be his wife someday."   
  
The kitchen once again became silent.I mentally kicked myself.What if I said too much?   
  
"That's awfully nice of you,Syaoran.Thanks for the feel-good words."She whirled around,giving me a smile that took my breath away.God,how I love this girl!   
  
So there we were,just staring at each other in comfortable silence.We could just go on like this forever if not for the sound of claps behind us.   
  
We turned around and saw Tomoyo clapping her hands in delight."Gosh,you guys look like you were in a trance!Did I just miss something?"   
  
"Where have you been,Tomoyo-chan?"Sakura demanded,her cheeks hot.   
  
I touched mine and discovered that they were warm too."Yeah!"I echoed.   
  
The long-haired girl beamed."In your room.I taped a special edition for my collection:Syaoran's Room Secrets Revealed!"   
  
"WHAT?!"I ran to my room as fast as I could.I threw the door open and felt my jaw drop. 


	3. Default Chapter

SYAORAN NO KANGAE-Chapter 3   
written by: SYAORAN NO HIME   
  
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In the middle of my bed sat my bear embracing Sakura's framed picture.   
  
"Syaoran,are you ok?"Sakura called behind my shoulders.   
  
I impulsively dove to the bed and covered the bear with a blanket.I slipped the framed picture in the back of the pocket of my pants.   
  
Sakura sat down the bed looking puzzled."What are you hiding beneath the blanket,Li-kun?"   
  
I gave her my most charming killer smile that always turns my cousin into mush."N-Nothing."   
  
She peered closely at my face."Why are you smiling like that?Is something stuck in your jaw?"   
  
Ok,so she didn't notice how amazingly cute I am.Big deal.   
  
She suddenly reached for my bear.I swiped it from her hands and held it out of her reach.   
  
"Hey!I wanna see the bear!"protested Sakura,wrestling me for the toy.   
  
"S-Sakura!"My heartbeat went erratic.Her soft body in my arms,her breath on my neck,her hands reaching for mine..it's a dream come true!   
  
Fine.Technically,she's beating me up to see the bear,but can you blame a guy for daydreaming?   
  
"Oof!"I fell down the floor from the bed.Sakura,on the other hand,raised the toy up in triumph."Got it!"   
  
She plopped down the bed,hugging the stuffed toy."Wow!This bear is so cute!And huggable too!"   
  
Lucky bear!Why can't Sakura see that I'm cute and huggable too?   
  
"For whom did you made the bear for,Syaoran?"asked Tomoyo,sitting down beside Sakura.   
  
I felt my face go hot.Should I confess now?Should I?Should I?   
  
I'd rather not.What if Sakura can't reciprocate my feelings for her?Ouch!Besides,I can't risk the special bond that Sakura and I have.   
  
"For Yamazaki."I replied instead.   
  
"What did you say?"exclaimed the girls.   
  
I realized what I just said."Uh,I mean,Yamazaki asked me to make a bear for him that he,in turn,will give to Chiharu."   
  
"Oh."   
  
Sakura hugged the bear tighter."I wish someone would give me a bear as cute as this."   
  
Bull's eye!I looked away so they won't notice the circus of colors on my cheeks.   
  
Tomoyo laughed,but she suddenly stopped."The noodles!"   
  
We all rushed down to rescue our food and my kitchen.Fortunately,only our food died.My wok is in critical condition though.   
  
  
I sighed. "Coffee,anyone?"   
  
end(?)   
  
  
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why is there a question mark?bec.i'm still developing the rest of the story.i'm having a writer's block! for the meantime,the story will end here.hope you understand,and,uh,sorry for being a lousy fanfic writer,ok?   
-syaoran no hime   



	4. Default Chapter

Syaoran No Kangae-CHAPTER 4   
  
Tomoyo gave me a strange smile.   
  
"What?"I barked,narrowing my eyes at her.   
  
She gave me the sweet,innocent smile of hers."Nothing,Li.I was just wondering what would I do now with the videotape I got in your room.Maybe I should just show it to Sakura to make your confession a lot easier,hmm?"   
  
"Don't you dare!"I intended it to be a threat but it sounded more like a mouse squeak to my ears.   
  
"What confession?"Sakura's head popped out from the kitchen where she's still finishing her coffee.   
  
I felt my face burn to the third degree."Mind your own business!"I snapped instead.   
  
Her emerald eyes were shocked,then they turned misty."Fine!"She marched back to the kitchen table.   
  
"Real smooth."commented Sakura's best friend.   
  
I looked down on the daisies in the vase.I felt really,really bad.I don't know what came over!It's just that I panicked when I thought she'll discover my feelings for her..and all I knew then was that I want her to leave me alone.   
  
Tomoyo cleared her throat.I looked up."Listen ,Li.I need to be home already.I'll go ahead of Sakura."she began to gather her things.   
  
"She might get mad if you don't inform her of these."I reminded her.   
  
The long-haired lass smiled."I don't care.It's for a good cause,you know."She was about to leave when she turned around again."And oh yeah,one more thing,Li.Please apologize to Sakura."With that she walked away.   
  
I sighed.Of course,Tomoyo's right.But how do I start saying sorry to her without choking up,running away or worse,fainting!   
  
Suddenly thunder clapped outside.Instantly the lights went out and an ear-splitting scream shattered the silence of the house.   
  
Ignoring my bleeding eardrums,I rushed to the kitchen."What?What?"I asked while pointing my penlight at Sakura whose knees were tucked under her chin and her hands were covering her face.   
  
The girl looked up at me,eyes flooded with relief."Li-kun,it's you!"She got up and rushed to my arms.   
  
She feels so warm..her trembling body fit so perfectly in my uncertain arms."Yeah Sakura,it's me."I murmured.   
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Later we settled in the living room with a lighted candle on the table.I was sitting beside her with only a throwpillow separating us.I glanced at her again but she didn't notice me because she was too busy plucking the petals of my daisies.   
  
"He loves me,he loves me not.He loves me..he loves me not?!"Sakura dropped her fourth flower on the floor in disgust."Why can't he love me?"   
  
I rolled my eyes ."Stop messing with my daisies,Kinomoto!They never did anything wrong to you so stop killing them."   
  
She turned to me."Li-kun,why can't Yuki fall for me?"   
  
I rubbed my cheek uncomfortably."Sakura.."   
  
She leaned back on the sofa"I know.Yuki likes me only as a sister."   
  
I forced a smile on my face."But like what he said,You'll find the one whom you love the most in due time."   
  
She picked another daisy from the vase and gave it to me.I stared at it,puzzled.   
  
"Why don't you try doing what I did with the daisy?See if the person you love will love you back."suggested Sakura.   
  
I slowly shook my head."Thanks but no thanks.I think I already know the answer."But I took the daisy anyway.   
  
Suddenly my phone rang.I reached for it,annoyed because it disturbed our little intimate moment."Hello?"I said gruffly.   
  
"Is my sister there?"the voice unmistakably Touya's demanded,not bothering to greet hello.   
  
I snickered."Yes, is there any problem?"   
  
"Give the phone to her,damn it!"he bellowed.   
  
I barely flinched."I don't want to."   
  
"Then tell her that I'm coming over.Don't you leave that place,China Boy!You're gonna need multi-orthopedic operations after I'm through with you."Busy tone.   
  
"Who was that?"asked Sakura curiously.   
  
"No one special.Just your big brother."   
  
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An hour later,nobody kicked the door open yet and demanded that I peacefully surrender Sakura.   
  
"That's strange."commented Sakura."I wonder what's keeping him so long?"She stared at the relentlessly falling rain outside the window worriedly.   
  
"Alright,I'll take you home."I decided,standing up from my seat.   
  
She looked up at me in surprise.   
  
I averted my eyes from hers."Come on,I hate seeing you all worried-"I stopped abruptly.My cheeks were feeling warm again.Damn!This girl can create a biological imbalance in me in a span of 2 seconds!   
  
"Ok."she replied,taking her raincoat and umbrella.Since my umbrella was missing and I'm too lazy to search for it,I shared her umbrella.   
  
Soon we were already walking home,crunched together under one small umbrella amidst the deserted road.I felt like Sakura and I were the only people in the world.   
  
She inched closer to me to avoid getting dripped by the edges of the umbrella,causing my heart to hammer loudly.She's so near..so very near..I can even feel the silky-smoothness of her cheeks across mine!I had to remind myself to breathe every other second or so.   
  
"Syaoran,didn't you bring your raincoat along?"asked Sakura when she saw the wet sleeve of my shirt.   
  
"I lent it the other day to Yamazaki."I explained.   
  
"Then why don't you move closer to me so you won't get wet?"she asked.   
  
"Uh right."I stepped closer towards her as my body formed cold sweats.I accidentaly stepped on her shoe.Argh!I'm a hopeless case!   
  
"Honestly Syaoran,are you really ok?"she asked again.   
  
"No Sakura.I do not feel ok at all.I think I'm madly in love with you."I wanted to blurt out but I restrained myself.   
  
She likes me as a friend,no more no less.It's good enough for me.   
  
Right?   
  
The girl,unaware of the internal emotional turmoil I was going through,snapped her fingers in front of my face."Hello?Earth to Syaoran?"   
  
I gave her a feeble smile.If only she knew how it hurts when the person you love the most is right in front of you but you can't openly love her.   
  
"You're sad."Sakura gazed at my forlorn amber eyes."What can I do to help you?"   
  
"Nothing."I replied truthfully.The aid I need from her is not possible to give.I want her to love me back.   
  
"Alright,but please smile for me,Li-kun."she pleaded.   
  
I was about to reply when I heard a sound of an engine coming from the back and picking up speed.Automatically ,I covered Sakura with my body just as the car drenched me with mud.   
  
"Syaoran!"exclaimed the girl.   
  
I quickly checked her if she got dirty or something."You're safe."I told her happily.   
  
"But your clothes.."she began.   
  
I checked my clothes and groaned.Mud was splattered all over the back of my favorite shirt and pants!I would need more than a laundry bar to get rid of the dirt.I think laundry miracles are what I need.   
  
"I'm sorry."Sakura hurriedly apologized."But you shouldn't have done that!"   
  
"It's ok."I replied."Protecting you is my job."   
  
Since when and why is that?"A voice said from behind.We turned around and saw the Prince of Doom,er,Touya standing.His eyes were shooting daggers at me.   
  
"Big brother!"exclaimed Sakura.   
  
"Let's go,monster.You might catch cold if you stay here."He turned to me."And you,leave my kid sister alone!"He motioned Sakura towards the blue car that ruined my clothes."Hurry up!I still have to return it to my classmate!"   
  
But Sakura ignored him.She took off her pink raincoat and gave it to me along with her umbrella."Here.Use these to protect yourself from the rain."Sensing my hesitation,she pulled my hand and placed her things on it."Take care of yourself,Syaoran."She then gave me a cheerful farewell wave and got in the car .Her brother gave me a final,menacing look before driving the car away.   
  
I barely noticed that I'm getting drenched by the rain already.I was just staring at where Sakura was standing awhile ago.I held her coat closer to my arms.I slowly smiled.   
  
"Maybe someday,I'll be able to tell her how I feel.And maybe..just maybe..She'll love me back."I said softly.   
  
I turned around and started on my way home.   
  
  
THE END   
  
  
For comments,suggestions and other reactions,please e-mail the author at sheilaym@yahoo.com  



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